Easter Eggstasy

Although I am a well-known heathen and BLASPHEMER, I have (of recent) become well known for my insane fixation with Easter egg decoration and deviled egg making. I LUVS the Easter.

Easter is of course one of many hijacked holidays in which Christians absconded with some very sexy pagan observance and turned it into a starchy white bunny and cross filled 'celebration'.(Before they gave up nicely converting and just burned everybody) But those topics are for another blog. It's about the eggs:

I have developed an unhealthy fixation with decorating easter eggs. I mean it. I love it. First in order to make the PERFECT hard boiled eggs:

1 Put the eggs in a single layer in a saucepan, covered by at least an inch or two of cold water. Starting with cold water and gently bringing the eggs to a boil will help keep them from cracking. Adding a tablespoon of vinegar to the water will help keep the egg whites from running out of any eggs that happen to crack while cooking. . Adding a half teaspoon of salt is thought to help both with the preventing of cracking and making the eggs easier to peel. Put the burner on high and bring the eggs to a boil. As soon as the water starts to boil, remove the pan from the heat for a few seconds. But let eggs simmer on lower heat for 8-10 minutes. It is best to have a gentle boil.

2 Reduce the heat to low, return the pan to the burner. Let simmer for one minute. 

3 After a minute, remove the pan from the heat, cover, and let sit for 12 minutes. If you are doing a large batch of eggs, after 10 minutes you can check for doneness by sacrificing one egg, removing it with a slotted spoon, running it under cold water, and cutting it open. If it isn't done, cook the other eggs a minute or two longer. The eggs should be done perfectly at 10 minutes, but sometimes, depending on the shape of the pan, the size of the eggs, the number of eggs compared to the amount of water, and how cooked you like them, it can take a few minutes more. 

I also find that it is very hard to overcook eggs using this method. I can let the eggs sit, covered, for up to 15-20 minutes without the eggs getting overcooked.

4 Either remove the eggs with a slotted spoon and place them into a bowl of ice water (this is if you have a lot of eggs) OR strain out the water from the pan, fill the pan with cold water, strain again, fill again, until the eggs cool down a bit. Once cooled, strain the water from the eggs. Store the eggs in a covered container (eggs can release odors) in the refrigerator. They should be eaten within 5 days.

I find it is advisable to refrigerate at LEAST a day before decorating or peeling. 

I am not normally in the recipe blog business, but this is a recipe I have mastered over time which is just a slightly complex version of  boiling water. :)

Next the sacred DECORATION. THIS year I used 3 teaspoons of water to 1/2 cup of white vinegar for the dye. For half the batch I used material for the tye-dye effect. I let them soak in the light and dark solutions for as long as ten minutes for the very vivid colors, and I hand dipped the more subtle ones. 

They are achingly lovely to behold, and I obsessively photographed them!

NEXT: The DEVILED EGGS!!!

The consummation of Easter is the deviled egg making; paired with the 'Ten Commandments' watching (Yes, I know it is the story of passover and NOT Easter; just humor me). The eggs are BEST after at LEAST a day of refrigeration. (This should come after you have forced all your loved ones to admire the beautiful decorations AND posted the pictures on facebook) I prefer tapping lightly and peeling in one sheet if possible.  The eggs are sliced lengthwise and  carefully scooped out. This year's recipe was a NEW variety, since I change it up every year. In a mixing bowl combine: (based on 2 dozen eggs)

Dried Egg yolks (from 24 eggs)

I tablespoon of vinegar

1/2 cup of dijon mustard

2 tablespoons of jarred minced garlic

1 cup of mayonnaise (not the fake crap; real best foods)

I cup of finely chopped bacon

(Paprika to garnish)

Mix the filling; but adjust the ingredients to your taste; since I usually don't really measure these. 

I refrigerate the egg white shells while I am preparing the filling; so they are firm and I also prefer a slightly runny filling. For a dry variety cut the amount of mayo and refrigerate longer. 

So here are the visuals:

   EGGS BEFORE.............

EGGS AFTER......

 Of course NO Easter feast is complete without the highly realistic Cecil B. DeMille documentary ( haha) 'The Ten Commandments' with Charlton Heston and Yul Brenner (a sexy sandwich of male hunkiness):

I LOVE EASTER!!