PET PEEVES

 (complete with liberal use of the “F” word, my apologies)

I am a usually fairly mellow person; and I am very tolerant of the sometimes inconsiderate actions of other people. As a teacher you learn to tolerate a wide range of behavior and ideas; and rarely do I have an atomic meltdown about trivial things. But sometimes things annoy me. In order to deal with it;  I have started a list of  my ‘pet peeves’:

My deepest apologies if you liked 'The Blindside', 'the Secret' or are offended by my liberal use of the 'F' word. 

1. The Phrase: “Think outside the Box” – (just stop it, Now.)

2.Pretentious  ‘British’  spellings from people that aren’t from the UK or Canada. Face it, you are an American, there was a revolution. Nobody thinks you are clever by making such an effort to anglicize your spelling. Especially when you fuck it up.

So stop fucking writing COLOUR, FAVOUR, CENTRE, REALISE or RECOGNISE. Is it incorrect? NO! It is just fucking pretentious. You are a half-educated pseudo-intellectual who does not REALISE half the time you are using it wrong (contextually), even if you were born a LYMIE or a Canuck. Which you weren’t.

3.People who take very small children to movies. –  (Unless it is a kid’s movie) It’s inconsiderate to people around you; but even worse you are a shit parent for taking  them to something usually inappropriate for their age; and then yelling at them for being scared or noisy.  Seriously, you suck.

4.PARKING PLACE STALKERS!  Stop fucking following me, park further away and burn the extra calories. The slower you drive behind me, the slower I will walk just to fuck with you. 

5. “THE SECRET” Junkies….. I spent a year fending off people trying to get me to read that book; after I  finally DID read it I was appalled. It is a sociopath’s guide to fucked up ‘spirituality’. I’ll sum it up as ‘GREED KARMA’.

6. People who tell me the Vietnamese “PHO” soup is pronounced “FUH”   I fucking know! FUHK off!!

7. Wal-Mart – Not really for political or reasons of conscience. Just because it is fucking creepy.

8. The Movie  ‘The Blindside’…..If you haven’t seen it, spare yourself. This movie has developed a set of dewy eyes followers like ‘the Secret’ book. Only white people liked this movie. White people who love to tell you how many black friends they have. I didn’t just hate it…I loathed it, and felt that it was a badly done modern minstrel show.

9. People who write their complaints irrationally in list form.

Wait…….